January, Time Continuing, and the Work of Handoff

by alichava | Jan 13, 2026 | Cancer, Parenting

January has always carried a certain weight. A new calendar year brings reflection almost by default — a pause long enough to notice what has changed and what has endured.

This January feels more bittersweet than most.

It marks another year of clean bills of health following a January 2019 breast cancer diagnosis. The milestone is real, but understated. What it signifies most is not triumph, but continuity. Time has continued. Plans still extend forward. Life has retained its ordinary shape.

At the same time, we are reaching a turning point as parents. Our oldest is finishing high school this week.

Taken together, these moments have reframed what reflection looks like right now. Less about revisiting the past, and more about preparing for what comes next.

When children are young, parenting often centers on values and protection. As they approach independence, the focus narrows to something far more concrete: competence. Values still matter, of course. But they are carried forward through practice far more than through instruction. The unglamorous, necessary skills that allow life to function when familiar structures fall away.

How to make dinner.
How to pick up a prescription.
How to read and reconcile an account balance.
How to use money thoughtfully rather than impulsively.
How to track responsibilities, documents, and obligations — especially when living or traveling abroad.

These are not skills taught in a single lesson. They are absorbed through participation in systems: watching how things are handled, being invited into responsibility gradually, and learning that small oversights compound over time.

What we often call “adulting” is less about age than about infrastructure. Independence depends not on confidence alone, but on having reliable ways to orient oneself, financial, logistical, and organizational, when external guardrails disappear.

Survivorship has quietly influenced how I think about this handoff. When time continues, urgency fades, and clarity replaces it. The question becomes not “what if,” but “what needs to be solid before the next stage begins?”

January doesn’t demand reinvention here. It invites refinement. Strengthening the systems that will travel with our children when they leave home. Making sure responsibility feels familiar rather than performative.

Bittersweet moments often signal that something is ending. This one feels more like confirmation: that time is moving forward, and with it, the work of letting go, thoughtfully, deliberately, and with care.